13. Robert Downey, Jr.: I promise to stay clean and sob- Ahhhh! Spiders! Get them off!!

12. Harry Potter: Use powers for neither good nor evil, but rather just for gettin' some.

11. Jennifer Lopez: I must come up with *some* way to get people to notice me.

10. Christina Aguilera: Take down that little slut Britney before she steals my spread in Playboy.

9. Calista Flockhart: Shed the extra quarter of a pound gained during holiday season from eating that half slice of summer sausage.

8. Eminem: Let people see more of my "happy, smiley" side.

7. David Letterman: Less "goofy" - more "wacky."

6. Saddam Hussein: Become the undisputed master of "Tekken" on PlayStation 2.

5. Bill Clinton: Quit holding back and start getting it on!

4. Samuel L. Jackson: Try to mix in a motherf**kin' expletive every now and then.

3. Catherine Zeta-Jones: Figure out how to get that "old person smell" out of everything I own.

2. dot.com sock puppet: Finally get this fist outta my ass.

and the Number 1 Celebrity New Year's Resolution...

1. George W. Bush: Learn one presidential-type thing every day, starting with memorizing my Beers of the World poster.

 

A New Year resolution is a commitment that an individual makes to a project or a habit, often a lifestyle change that is generally interpreted as advantageous. The name comes from the fact that these commitments normally go into effect on New Year's Day and remain until the set goal has been achieved, although many resolutions go unachieved & are often broken fairly shortly after they are set.

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